~More On Goblins~

(Goblins Cont'd)

~The Great Goblin Gooblaroo~
Once a year, it is the responsibility of the Goblin King to bring all goblins together for one assembly, the Great Goblin Gooblaroo. If you are thinking, "That is the worst idea in all of history", it is.

However, the event persists, and each year's goings on are more heinous than any previous.

"That seems like an awful lot of organization... Wouldn't goblins shy away from such semblances of order?"

Yes, and that is why it works so well. It used to be that the Goblin King would round up subjects with a fangly cane. This was all sorts of trouble.

Nowadays, he sends every goblin an invitation for noontime tea on each of the 364 days that is not the Gooblaroo. You see, a goblin will most certainly show up when he thinks he hasn't been invited.

(Since we are on the subject...)
~Goblin Etiquette~
Goblins are neither timely nor prompt, and they miss all of their dinner parties.

~Goblin Kings~
(i) Who they are
(ii) How they come about
and (iii) Where I suspect they will end up

(i) The Goblin King is responsible for all goblins. He must balance this responsibility with the terrible behavior necessary to remain in the high favor of his subjects. Very difficult.

(ii) Goblin King's are human children, kidnapped by goblins at near-after-infancy. Goblins shoot for the youngest they can find for two reasons; (1) Young children know less rules, and (2) The younger the King, the longer it will be until the goblins have to find a new one.

(iii) All Goblin King's go the same road. They reach 11-or-12ish, decide that perpetual disarray is simply not for them, and relinquish their King-dom to pursue more dynamic careers (finance, bond trading, and metallurgical engineering are all typical).

The resulting unruly goblin mass is always more than happy to kidnap a new King, as that old one was getting rather grown-uppish, anyway.

~Goblin Mothers~
There are no goblin mothers.