A Breviary of Mythical Beasts, Dec 06.

Breviary of Mythical Beasts #1
~Clever Beasts~

The human is the 4th cleverest animal on the planet. We are preceded by the Dragon, the Arctic Pocket Bear, and babies.

Our friend, said bear...
The Arctic Pocket Bear is so named because of its size and its affinity for warm places. When it remains unseen, it is a pleasant bear. Early reports of the bear were rumors of warm and furry lumps that appeared in sleeping bags at night and disappeared by the morning.

The APB stands 8 1/2 inches upright, and looks something like a polar bear. Imagine a stuffed teddy bear turned white and come alive, and you've imagined the Pocket Bear.

"How cute! What makes this bear so clever?"

Let's consider regular-sized bears. While gentle creatures in their homes and around their loved ones, regular-sized bears have been known to transform into brutal kill machines at the drop of a button. I once saw a bear pull the wall off the side of a house, and then tramp about inside eating everybody. That is how bears live.

The APB can do no such thing! If he went on a killing rampage, he would scuff up some walls, and then be petted. What sets this tiny animal apart??

The Arctic Pocket Bear has mastered the concept of perspective! That's right. They sneak right up close (not difficult-> they're snowy colored and in the Arctic), and then make a big fuss from only a few inches away. Very menacing, indeed.

Imagine, for just a moment, that you're being attacked by a polar bear. Do you stop and think, "I wonder... this might be a very small and clever bear who has managed to sneak up on me"? I do not think that you do.

Arctic animals flee upon such an encounter, and this is how the bear provides for its appetite: scaring predators away from already-caught food.

It is a magnificently cunning creature, and it is listed here, thusly.

~Dragons~
Everybody knows about these things, by now. It used to be that even the most well-versed storytellers had only a snippet or two of dragon lore. These days, you can see a dragon in movies and on t-shirts.

I once asked a little boy what he wanted to be when he grew up. He responded, "Snrout!" (that was the noise he made) "I want to be a dragon!"

They're everywhere.

They're also nowhere... the real ones, that is. The last of the most abundant dragon bloodline was hunted down roughly 120 years ago and made into boots. That's the way things go with dragons.

Except for one.

Pepplekep is a rural village near some mountains in Africa. Nobody knows which ones.

In 1866, the Mayor (or Mayor-equivalent for tribal African nations) of Pepplekep was leaving a meeting of the Pepplekepian Association of Philanthropists and Bureaucrats (or Pepplekepian Association of Philanthropists and Bureaucrats- equivalent for tribal African nations) when he was suddenly and most unexpectedly surprised by a dragon.

He closed his eyes, raised his hands above his head to accomodate easier swallowing, and waited for the end.

The dragon blinked twice, and made a deal. "You are simple, and you do not wear boots. May I stay?".

And the dragon became a Pepplekepian, which he remains to this day.

Clever?

Dragons live for thousands of years and sleep on piles of gold. Who wouldn't be proud? Overcoming such inevitable pride would require a very culturally aware dragon, which is what this dragon must have been. He would have to go far out of his way to keep well-informed (dragons do not have newspaper stands, you know), and such sleuthful planning and diplomacy makes him (the only remaining representative of the dragon population) a Clever Beast.

~As for Babies~
Babies have everything they want, and they never work.